FIND YOUR CENTER : GETTING BALANCED AFTER THE STRUGGLE
Take a long, deep, cleansing breath. Breathe in, completely filling your lungs on the in breath, and completely emptying them on the out breath. If you feel the need to repeat these inhalations and exhalations, take a few more deep, conscious breaths in – and out. Get grounded, come fully into your physical body.
Remember, above all, you are a spiritual being. You are in physical form to know what it means to be in a body, and to experience the human condition. If there is anything that you take from this blog, rest assured that all of life is organizing around you.
Although it might often feel as though there is no rhyme or reason to what you have been through, what you are now experiencing, or if the road ahead appears uncertain, understand that everything did happen, and is happening for you. Nothing is random.
It is part of being human, to experience tragedy, hurt, and pain. And in understanding this is a shared experience, you achieve a greater sense of balance in the mind. You need only to turn your television onto a major local news station, to get online, or to research the many support groups with shared life experiences, to confirm this.
You, your story, and all that has happened in your narrative should be recognized, your pain does deserve acknowledgment. But, knowing that it is part of the collective experience to face trials, trauma, disappointment, and heartache, can bring ease to your mind – and peace to your spirit.
I too faced struggles of my own. I do know what it is like, to experience the kind of suffering that makes you feel hopelessly lost, alone, and full of fear.
In some of my earlier blogs, I openly shared the painful loss of my father to fourth stage cancer, just as my seventeen year marriage was coming to an end. And as I faced these two major losses, I was simultaneously battling symptoms of PTSD, (post traumatic stress disorder) which surfaced after witnessing a disturbing event involving my father, while he was hospitalized.
Months turned into years, as I did everything within my power to erase the traumatic incident from my mind’s eye. As a psychotherapist, I used tools and techniques to help me return to the peace I had known before fear took hold of me. But the anxiety, depression, and panic attacks followed my every breath.
In each waking moment, I was stuck in fight or flight mode, feeling unsafe, unbalanced, unsettled and ungrounded. I felt like I was out of my physical body. Added to this, the separation turned bitter, as I faced abuse, physically, mentally – and emotionally.
For over three years, I was stuck what seemed like an unending cycle of fear. Any change that came my way, was met with a great sense of dread. The trauma, the loss of my father, and the end of a long marriage, made me fear that which I had once embraced…change.
Things are always changing, life is fluid. And when you know this and rest in the understanding of this inevitability, it brings with it a greater sense of balance in the mind.
I believe meditation is a gift. It brings peace, harmony, and balance to your inner landscape. With meditation, your external world reflects the homeostasis you achieve on the inside. Your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellness greatly benefits when you make meditation a lifestyle.
It helps you become more relaxed, flexible, and buoyant in all of life’s storms. Meditation helps you to expand, to look outside of yourself.
When we stay focused on our own painful experiences, instead of recognizing pain as a shared experience, our emotions become more intense. The ups and downs of life are felt more strongly, when we forget that emotions come and go. There is a transient nature to thoughts and emotions. And the sooner this becomes apparent, the greater your chance of avoiding an ongoing cycle of negativity.
Although troubling, scary thoughts might surface in your mind, they do eventually go away, they dissolve, allowing you to see through the illusion of thoughts that arise in your mind. And if you can befriend your thoughts, accept them, come to a place of ease, rather than judging or running from them, life gets easier, lighter, brighter, as you surrender to the ebb and flow of life.
You can find your way out of any negative thought pattern. Acknowledge the thought, then let it go. Continue to acknowledge each thought because our thoughts and feelings are here for a reason, they are here to teach us something. They make themselves visible and relevant, to bring greater awareness to what is going on inside of you. Your thoughts and emotions both reflect your state of mind.
Kundalini yoga is known as the yoga of transformation. It impacts the life of the yogi in profound ways. Kundalini yoga was first practiced by gurus and transcendental monks in India, who wanted to keep the practice in the East. Yogi Bhajan, an Indian kundalini yoga master, brought the art to the West, against their wishes.
After trauma, chakras or energy centers often get unbalanced or blocked. Because you are a spiritual being, made of energy, when the energy in your physical body is not flowing as it was created to, you begin to feel unsteady, unstable, and off of your center.
Abuse, crisis, heartbreak, loss or any trauma can create imbalance within your energy system. After separation, divorce, or any deep, painful life experience, your heart chakra can get blocked, preventing the energy in this area from flowing properly. This then makes loving yourself and others difficult.
When the heart chakra remains unhealed, you are unable to powerfully attract your destiny toward you. The love, the career, the joie de vivre (joy of life) eludes you, as your energy frequency is too low to manifest your truest wishes. This is why balance within is a must.
Kundalini yoga is a powerful tool that unblocks your chakras and balances you in all key areas: mind, body and spirit. It is known as the yoga of transformation because it creates balance on the inside, helping you to better know yourself, trust yourself, your intuition, accept who you are – and to love yourself without conditions.
Kundalini yoga also helps you to live in alignment with your divine self. This rich practice helps you choose the foods, the people, the lifestyle, and a way of being that is aligned with your soul.
Choosing to surround yourself with healthy, positive, uplifting things, people and circumstances, will create more of a balanced state. When you decide to eliminate toxic, unstable, negative relationships, situations, or substances that bring imbalance to your life, you begin to live a life authentic to the true, radiant nature of your being.
Everything is energy. And when you commit to having a healthier, higher vibrational circle of friends, environment, foods, and daily practices, you will achieve long-term stability.
By taking a more holistic approach to your wellness, you begin to work in alignment with your soul and Divine Energies. When your thoughts, emotions, choices, and approach to life are aligned with the Universe, you attract all that is here (i.e.. events, people, circumstances, opportunities) to help you elevate, bringing more abundance toward you.
In order to achieve a balanced state, it also helps to shift your focus from the self, to the emotions and happiness of another. When you are in the middle of a strong emotion, if you are able to give attention to the needs, the joy, and the contentment of others, there is a change in perspective.
You maintain a sense of balance by focusing on others, than on the self. This is a useful practice in finding balance. When unbalanced, take notice when you do something kind for another person, you then have a lighter, more spacious quality of mind.
To stay balanced from day to day, I highly recommend the meditation app, Headspace, especially if you are new to meditation. It is where I first began my meditation practice. And it remains the tool I turn to everyday as I wake up, to stay grounded – and when I need to quickly find my center.
It is guided, timed, and you can choose the area of your life you would like to experience change (i.e.. reactivity, depression, sleep, focus, relationships, balance, and many more). You can also select the amount of time you would like to devote to your meditative practice, anywhere from three minutes to fifteen minutes, if time allows. It is available on both the iPhone and Android devices.
Change happens, life happens, and when things do not unfold for you as expected or as you had hoped, it helps you return to your center once again, with clarity, calm, and the ability to view the situation from a higher perspective.
To remain steady in your everyday life, it is helpful to stay in the moment. Very often we get worried about the outcome of something, we make assumptions, overthink, create a number of alternate scenarios in our minds, without knowing how things will ultimately turn out. This simply creates more tension for you. By getting caught up in the story line in your mind, you will be unable to enjoy this present moment. The only truth we have, is the now.
The moments you share with your children, your significant other, your family and friends, this is what matters in the end. The past no longer exists. And the future is not yet here. The only certainty you have is this precious moment, this alone is guaranteed. Enjoy it. And when you find balance, these divine gifts can be enjoyed to the fullest.
Another way to quickly get balanced is to get outdoors, barefoot, on the grass in your backyard or at a nearby park. Walk on the grass, without shoes, to get grounded. Since you are made of energy, walking on the earth helps you further align with the still, bright, rooted essence of your soul. Your soul needs sustenance, it requires attention, it craves all that will promote its growth, its expansiveness, its bliss.
Getting out in nature helps you get in touch, dive deeper into exactly what your soul needs to feel whole. When you remain airy, open, and invite play into your life, you experience a lightness of mind and sprit. And you do not take life or your thoughts too seriously.
By finding more opportunities to access the child inside of you, your mind, spirit, and vibrational frequency elevates. Not only will you feel more balanced, but your relationship with yourself and others will improve, with increased harmony, more lighthearted, more you.
Find moments in your day for laughter. This can be found in what you watch, those you call friend, and how you show up each day. Expect days where your energy output will wane, as life can get hectic, throwing you off your center once again. But, everyday is a new opportunity to regain your balance. By committing to finding a sense of play in life, you will experience a more balanced mind, body, and spirit.
Remember that your self-control, your poise, your balance, is impacted by your ability to return to your center, after any crisis, disagreement difficulty, or deep pain. As you increase in awareness, recognizing when you feel off your mark, with time, you will find it easier to find your zen.
When you can stay calm, stable, and manage your vibrational environment, this keeps you in energetic alignment with the spirit realm, allowing you to powerfully manifest your wants into your reality.
Your positive thoughts and intentions will begin to manifest rapidly, bringing beneficial and important changes into your life. You want to attract the good. And the harmony you feel on the inside will bring the same peace, light, and happiness to your external world.
We are all on borrowed time, so stay committed to finding your center, bring more joy into your life, so that your loved ones get to experience your best self. Get grounded, travel light – and love brilliantly.